Who needs friends when you have your family (sisters and cousins included)? Blood is thicker than water anyway, is it not? The older I get, the more I begin to see the truth in this. Friends only care about you to a certain extent, but family wins hands down. When they no longer enjoy your company and when there is no longer something that they want from you, you will hardly hear from them.
I have a very small circle of friends who I consider to be my true friends and I appreciate our friendship. They are very endearing to me. They are all from my old high school and they were all born in the same year as me.
I am not going to lie. I am a nice person and there are times when I think I am too nice. There are so-called friends who have taken advantage of that in the past and I know when I am being taken advantage of. One does not know that I know they are taking advantage of me and once I realize that, I take measures to distance myself by acting stone-cold towards the other person. I have become acquainted with quite a few fairweather friends and you can usually tell who they are as they only talk to you or call you when they want something from you or want you to do something for them.
I used to believe in friendship and I used to believe in love. However, any hint of optimism that I have felt for these two entities in the past are gradually being tainted with elements of reality.
I believe in friendship, but it takes time to see who your true friends are. I also believe in love, but it represents something that is unattainable to me at the present. Perhaps it will always remain unattainable to me because I no longer think I am capable of falling in love and I don't think anyone could ever fall in love with me. I'm not a socialite nor do I have a large group of friends. I am more introverted than extroverted and I am very reserved when I initially meet people. Perhaps other more extroverted and animated types view this as snobbish or boring, but to be honest, I'd much rather curl up somewhere and read a good book than yak my head off about trivial matters that no one cares for. If I can't seem to connect with someone and if I can't seem to talk to them, I would usually see it as a sign of incompatibility between our personalities and interests.
Alright. I better get back to my paper. I have 2.75 pages left to type. I feel much better now...
Posted by Cat at October 21, 2004 11:32 PMI know it's really hard to tell who your friends are. I feel the same way you feel all the time.
Posted by: Liz at October 24, 2004 10:03 PMThat's ok. You can come live across the street from my dilapidated house with the overgrown grass and 100 cats and dogs. We can scare the kids together, you dress up as a witch, I'll be Mr. Hyde. All year round. :D
Posted by: PakG1 at October 25, 2004 01:42 AM